I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I smell like Dick and happiness
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize