k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
