Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
