yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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