My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize