Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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