How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
