i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Randomize
