If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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