i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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