I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
