saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize