Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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