she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
