why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
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