I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
