she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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