If i come over, it means nothing
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
