i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
