As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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