MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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