U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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