I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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