i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
