Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
