the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
