Duck Duck Cougar?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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