You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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