Kiss
Puke
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
