If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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