My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
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