He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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