Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
