The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
