I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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