i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
