So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
