we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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