The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
