just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
