HIV tests are more positive than that guy
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
