brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
