she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
