So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Randomize
