I just made out with a guy for $7.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
