i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
