I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
...so i touched it.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
