I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
