I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
