just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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