and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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