I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
