I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
