I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
It's rum buckets o'clock
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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