Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Mom said you looked used
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
