I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
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