I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
