Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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