Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
