Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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