i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
