Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
