This show inspires me to have sex in space
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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