New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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