dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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