You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
