Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
