Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
