dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
God I need to hump something, right now.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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