I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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