apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
