hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
