you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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