She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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