youre lurking in front of me
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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