R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
