I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
